Overheard at an auspicious occasion:

Queen Bee: Hey guys, guess what, Tanya and Sikander are totally dating.
Worker Bee 1: How do you know?
Worker Bee 2: Yeah, how do you know?
Queen Bee: They were talking to each other yesterday, OMG, they were totally into each other.
The Caterpillar Chick: That doesn’t really prove much, Queen Bee. People talk to each other for all sorts of reasons. Even if they are dating, I don’t see how that…
Queen Bee: They were looking at each other with like, this heated look. You know, in their eyes.
Worker Bee 1: Ooh.
Worker Bee 2: Ooh.
The Caterpillar Chick: It is important to look at the person you’re talking to…
Queen Bee: Yeah but it was a REALLY HEATED look. They’re Stage Two dating. I know.
Worker Bee 1: Ooooooh.
Worker Bee 2: Ooooooh.
The Caterpillar Chick: Why were you observing them so intently?
Queen Bee: (Pauses, contemplates the question, then lightens up). Somebody had to tell you guys the hottest news!
Worker Bee 1: (Giggles)
Worker Bee 2: (Giggles)

OMG Queen Bee, you smart aleck, you!

What with the advent of social media and smartphones (along with a desperation to stay in touch), it is becoming increasingly  demanding to… mind your own business. A cursory scroll through your Facebook page bombards you with Celebrity X’s scandalous affair with Star Y, an old friend’s various relationship issues (she has had yet another breakup and she is #heart #broken), a colleague’s hang-outs with his friends at a local bar or restaurant, a toilet selfie, a dinner selfie, a wedding selfie, a movie selfie, a selfie selfie, etc.

Please get one of these. They are better suited to your daily mood vacillations.

You are forced to make other people’s lives an integral part of yours.

As if this were not enough, a lot of us consider it our duty to be aware of the happenings of people around us. Not just our family-members: we want to know what is going on in our friend’s life, our friend’s friends’ lives, our colleague’s life, our colleague’s colleagues’ lives, our neighbour’s life, and our neighbour’s neighbours’ lives. We spend each day thirsting for some new news, aching for juicy gossip, and paining for hot updates.

Our days are not well-spent until we have heard about at least one pathetic occurrence in somebody else’s life.

I’m telling you man, those two almost got caught red-handed this time!

The cherry on top is our satisfaction with somebody else’s failures. It is as if we derive pleasure from their inability to achieve something. Perhaps this is because we want to justify the impossibility of a task, or maybe it is because we want to justify our own inability to respect our capabilities.

Whatever the reason, this has to stop.

Constantly nosing into other people’s affairs will not get you anywhere. I have seen aged women who can sit for hours (HOURS) talking about nothing else. Let me tell you, it is absolutely terrifying seeing them go on and on about things which do not concern them in any way whatsoever. Their stamina is admirable, as is their dedication to this incredibly trying duty, I’ll concede. But what they are spending so much energy on is utterly worthless. They have not paused to consider their own lives and where they are going wrong, hence the refocus of time and energy on other people’s doings has brought them no gains. They are content with living lazy days with lots of cooking and cleaning and quarrelling about household expenditures with their husbands.

So there you have it. Having nothing else to do, plus too much time spent on social media, and (this cannot be stressed enough) surrounding yourself with the wrong kinds of people: these factors will make other people’s affairs as much a part of your life as your own. This will get you into trouble, sooner or later.

Not only because it is time-consuming, but mostly because IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Not much left to say.