Meet Yes-man.
Yes-man loves saying yes. He says yes to everything.
He cannot refuse anybody. He cannot remember the last time he said no. He is not sure what the word ‘no’ means anymore.
He has some friends, and he always says yes to them.
He has family, and he must say yes to them.
He has a pet cat who demands to be petted at irregular intervals throughout the day, and he will say yes to her.
Yes-man, let’s go hang out at the mall – there are some really great chicks there.
Yes!
Hey Yes-man, could you get this assignment done for me please, I had a date last night, couldn’t get it done. Ya know.
Of course!
Yes-man, would you be kind enough to clear this mess up, I have a Skype call from my aunt’s daughter’s friend’s fiancé that I simply must attend at this very moment.
Why not!
Yes-man has lived for 43 years now. He has a job, but no prospects. He has a family, but no connections. He has a house, but no home. He has bent over backwards for people; along with substantial back-aches, he now has nobody who will lend him a hand in his hour of need.
Are you like Yes-man? You don’t have to be.
Failing to set standards for ourselves is perhaps the most egregious offence most of us are guilty of. When you have no standards, you are malleable: you are willing to adjust yourself anywhere with anybody with no regard to your scruples, principles or rights as an individual (Yes, your rights. As a human being, you have a right as a superior creature. Not setting your standards is a clear violation of this right).
Once you have no standards about:
- the people you are willing to spend your time with
- the activities you spend your time on
- the food you eat
- the words you speak
- the books you read
- the songs you listen to
- the movies and TV episodes you watch
- the places you visit
You will end up with a derelict version of yourself. What could have been a powerful, inspirational, dedicated and passionate human being will wind up a shell of an individual that is willing to have absolutely any garbage poured into it. You have been reduced to a vessel.
Learn to say no.
If you feel uncomfortable about something, walk away from it. If you feel like something is amiss, say it is wrong. If you don’t want to hang out with somebody, tell them you don’t want to hang out with them.
Just say no.
The best part about refusing something is that once you get started, you will reach an epic level where you can do it point-blank. If people around you begin noticing: Hey! This person doesn’t always do what we want him to, and he always has genuine reasons for it! – Eventually, you will find that your refusal of something will not prompt any queries from the other person.
Voila! Time saved.
(Don’t abuse that sort of power though.)
You only have to say no.
Evaluate the situation, evaluate your standards, then make the final decision. Make sure you’re not hurting anybody, but make sure you’re not hurting yourself either. Give yourself the long-due importance you know you deserve.
Writing Towards Change 
April 8, 2017 at 4:32 pm
Really good article 🙂 it made me to admit yes I am a yes man too try to facilitate other putting aside my personal interests my close friends call me sacrificing one. I exactly knows who is taking me for granted and who’s not but as Bacha Khan baba says “Do not feel bad that People remember you only when they need you… Feel privileged that you are like a candle that comes to mind when there is darkness in their life!” And those people who take me for granted ask for help I just see is it bad thing? is it hurting my or someone respect? or it will just facilitate him? if that help is not going towards wrong I do it. Yes u r right one should no how to say no nd I still remember all my “Nos” I have said to people nd no b apni jaan pai zulam kr k bola hota hy 😀 ur article made me realise I am a yes man but my aim is to help the mankind with no compromise on self respect and is not on the expense of someone’s else interests. I agree when u dont like something walk away stay silent this is what I do if someone is a friend of u nd that thing can hurt him then I speak else if that thing is purely for me I just goes silent 🙂 btw I have standards where to say yes and where to say no but it is rarely no 😀
Really good and to the point article keep it up 🙂 Shabash
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April 9, 2017 at 3:59 am
Usman bhai thank you ^_^ yes maintaining a balance can be so difficult at times. And Yes-man is self destructive, you are not. There is a difference between being kindhearted and being sacrificing to the point of self-damage.
Shukriya 😀 zarur jaari rakhun gi IA
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April 9, 2017 at 9:38 am
thanks ur compliment Afsah 🙂 I need to be elaborated more about the concept behna 🙂
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April 10, 2017 at 5:01 am
Nobody is truly bad, but in certain situations, you have to realise that you are the bigger person. Hence, some people will only waste your time because in that certain situation, their standards are below yours’. Of course their standards may rise in the future, but right now, they are where they are. You are the bigger person, so say no 😀
I hope this helps!
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